


Broken

by sasukewasameme



Series: Sasuke Angst Collection [10]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Abuse, Character Death, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Inspired by Fanfiction, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Uchiha Sasuke Has Issues, Uchiha Sasuke Returns to Konoha, Uchiha Sasuke-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:42:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26713915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasukewasameme/pseuds/sasukewasameme
Summary: Sasuke's broken and Kyuubi's not helping any.Inspired by Of Feathers and Fangs by A_Hawk because it was an amazingly good story that ended too quickly.Warnings for abuse, sexual abuse, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and major character death
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Uchiha Sasuke, Kyuubi | Nine-tails | Kurama/Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Series: Sasuke Angst Collection [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1695241
Comments: 8
Kudos: 25





	1. Cuts

Sasuke hates Naruto. He hates him so much. He looks him in the eye and tells him to go away. But Naruto stays. "You don't actually want me to leave." Yes, he does. He does. He does. He does. He wants Naruto to leave him alone forever.

Sasuke's in the hospital surrounded by the color white while the color of orange from Naruto's clothes popped out brightly. "Go away," says Sasuke. He takes the vase next to him and throws it at Naruto's head, secretly purposefully missing.

But Naruto doesn't even flinch. Instead, he gets up and takes Sasuke's only hand left and puts it in his only hand left. Kakashi enters the room, hoping to help somehow. Why he thought being there would be helpful, he didn't know, because Sasuke's eyes are wide with insanity and he's looking around the room for something to throw at Kakashi.

"Sasuke," Naruto says in a pleading voice. Sasuke ignores him and tears his IV out. Then, he gets up and walks over to the computer only to pick it up and throw it at Kakashi, this time intentionally attempting to hit the target. Kakashi easily dodges and looks at his student sadly.

Sasuke doesn't understand. He threw a computer at the man and he wasn't mad? He can't stand it. He wants Team 7 to hate him. He wants to have a reason to kill them and he wants to give them a reason to kill him.

Striking pain shoots up his eyeballs and he drops to his knees, yelling in agony. "Fuck!" He yells. "Just kill me. All you do is stand there and watch me. Just kill me already. Are you sadists? Do you want to torture me?" And Naruto starts to cry. He walks over to Sasuke and hugs him.

Kakashi watches carefully, making sure Sasuke doesn't have another tantrum and throws something again.

Sasuke was taken back to the village after his fight with Naruto and he was still very mentally unstable. He was still in his shell. He was still being hostile towards the Leaf, even though he wasn't planning on attacking it.

"Sasuke," Kakashi starts, "what are you going to do?" He'd asked Sasuke the same thing before his fight with Naruto. He was asking again because he assumed Sasuke had different plans now. "I'm going to sleep until I die," Sasuke says.

That answer is far from satisfactory and Kakashi sighs. Sasuke had always been difficult but he is more so now. A Sasuke without purpose is a Sasuke without stability. Sasuke is the type of person who needs a goal in life to keep from breaking. And Sasuke no longer has a goal.

Sasuke is broken.

Kakashi senses Kyuubi's chakra rising. That isn't good. When Kyuubi takes over, he becomes violent with Sasuke and scarily overprotective. Kyuubi has a toxic relationship with Sasuke that centers around brokenness and control.

Kyuubi is a power freak. He has to control Sasuke to feel stable.

Naruto's soft, gentle grasp on Sasuke turns into a bruising hold as his kind smile turns into a condescending smirk. Sasuke shakes in his grasp and Kakashi isn't sure if the older teen is shaking from fear or from being in the presence of his lover.

Kakashi decides he'll step in if Sasuke wants to escape Kyuubi. But Sasuke doesn't want to escape Kyuubi no matter what he does. Kakashi watches as Kyuubi cages Sasuke between his arms and bites his neck harshly.

Sasuke doesn't ask for help.

Then, Kyuubi is more than just biting Sasuke's neck. Now, he's eating it. Sasuke grimaces but doesn't pull away. (Since when had his student become a masochist?)

And Sasuke still doesn't ask for help.

Then, Kyuubi begins to undress Sasuke and Kakashi steps in. "Not here," is his excuse in stopping Kyuubi and he wonders how many times Sasuke has lied there and taken it. Sasuke refuses to look Kakashi in the face.

He knows what Kakashi's thinking and he doesn't want to confirm his suspicions. But just as he tries avoiding his memories, his memories end up becoming more vivid. And Sasuke feels unstable.

He gets up and takes glass from the vase. Then, he raises it to his bandages neck. "How shameless, cutting yourself so openly," says Kyuubi as Sasuke takes the glass to his now uncovered neck. But Sasuke doesn't care what Kyuubi has to say. He wants to hurt himself.

He's stressed. All in one day, he's lost his left arm, which means he can no longer cut his wrists, he's been defeated in every way, and he's mentally unhinged, feeling like he's broke into pieces. (Maybe he is broken.)

That's when Tsunade walks in. Tsunade. Sasuke doesn't have the best relationship with the woman but he has respect for her as she's the Hokage, something both him and his brother were never able to accomplish.

Tsunade stands behind him, waiting for him to finish slicing his throat. When he's done, she bandages him up but doesn't heal him. "You've done this to yourself. I won't heal your self injuries." But Sasuke doesn't care. He likes having scars.

"We're preparing a new arm for both you and Naruto. You will accept this new arm. No exceptions." Sasuke wants to object but he needs his arm to cut. He needs his arm to cope. He nods. And Tsunade knows he's not cooperating because of her words but rather because he was getting something out of this.

She thinks she knows why Sasuke wants his arm back.

Kyuubi isn't happy with Tsunade's hands being on Sasuke for too long and walks up to the two. He wraps his arm around Sasuke's waist and give Tsunade an annoyed look. "He's fine. You don't need to be here anymore."

Tsunade glared at Kyuubi and Kakashi thinks she'll smash something but instead, she gets up and lets Kyuubi have his moment with Sasuke. But before leaving the room, she turns slightly to Kakashi. "Keep your eye on them."

Kakashi nods.

"Sasuke. You will be living with me for now on." And Kyuubi's demon eyes glare a hole into Kakashi, wishing he'd stay out of it. He gets angrier by the second, snarling and hissing and bruising Sasuke's waist. After seeing the concern in Kakashi's eyes, Kyuubi loses it.

He throws Sasuke against the wall and presses his lips to Sasuke, bruising and biting his lips. He makes a point to look at Kakashi while kissing his pet. He makes sure Kakashi knows Sasuke's his. When he finishes, Sasuke's lips are left bleeding and Kakashi takes him to his house.

Kakashi's house is small for the amount of ninja dogs it houses. But Sasuke doesn't mind. After all, he no longer has opinions for himself. When he lost to Naruto, he lost his opinions too. He thinks he doesn't deserve opinions anymore.

Sasuke and Kakashi sit across from each other on love seats placed in the living room. Sasuke stares off into space, imagining unhappy things. Kakashi watches from behind his book as Sasuke's expression turns sadder and sadder. He gets up and goes somewhere.

Sasuke sits quietly, too upset with life to be bored and too happy to commit suicide yet.

Kakashi comes back with a book in hand. He hopes it's not one of Kakashi's porno books. It turns out to be a fantasy book about a girl who lost it all. If Sasuke wasn't a shell of himself, he'd laugh at the fact that Kakashi owns more books than just porn yet doesn't read them in the open.

Sasuke find himself engrossed in the story only because he's bored. He's been too busy too read in the past several years so this is his first real book since he left Konoha. He isn't dumb. He knows why Kakashi chose this exact book for him to read.

The girl - a princess - loses all of her friends and family to the kingdom's enemies. Then, she enters a toxic relationship with a hurt male. The only difference between the girl and Sasuke besides gender was that she had a happy ending.

And Sasuke admits to himself that the story makes him sadder. That's when Sasuke realizes that Kakashi doesn't read books for happiness. He reads them so he doesn't feel alone. He thinks his former sensei is a strange guy. But in thinking so, he gets up and picks a book that will make him sad.

A week of reading passes before Sasuke finishes every book that isn't porn in Kakashi's house. It's also a week when Sasuke get his new arm. Admittedly, flipping pages was annoyingly harder with one hand. That's when Sasuke sees him again. Naruto.

Naruto sees Sasuke's bloody, bruised lips and wonders if his friend is okay. Who would do this to Sasuke? He'd need to talk to him later. When Tsunade finishes their procedure, Sasuke regrets it. He suddenly doesn't want his arm anymore.

He feels strangely whole having his arm back and he doesn't deserve to be whole. He wishes someone would chop his arm off, no matter how painful it is. To punish himself, he plans to slice his arm up the second he gets home. Naruto notices Sasuke's hesitance over having a new arm.

"Are you okay, Sasuke?" He asks. Sasuke nods and Naruto knows he can't make Sasuke speak without force. And he doesn't feel like fighting right now. Not after getting his arm back. So, he keeps his mouth shut and makes a note in the back of his head to keep an eye on Sasuke to make sure he really is okay.

When Sasuke gets home, he waits for Kakashi to leave for groceries. Kakashi isn't stupid either so he asks Sasuke if he'll be safe by himself before leaving. Sasuke, of course, says he'll be fine and the second Kakashi leaves, he goes into the bathroom.

He doesn't feel like cleaning up after himself too much so he cuts himself over the sink. He watches as blood fills the sink and cuts are made everywhere. Arms are long and have much more space than humans give credit for so it takes twenty minutes of cutting himself before his arm is fully covered with cuts.

When he's done, he bandages himself up and rinses the bloody sink.

Kakashi comes back to the house to Sasuke sitting on the couch, rereading one of his books. He knows he'll have to check Sasuke's arms and dreads checking his arms just as much as Sasuke does. He doesn't do well in heavy situations and doesn't know how he should react when it's revealed that Sasuke sliced himself up.

Kakashi wants to get it over with and luckily, so does Sasuke. Sasuke complies when Kakashi tells him to roll up his sleeves. Sasuke's right arm is littered with scars while his left arm is littered with cuts. Kakashi scratches the back of his head.

"Well, the cuts look clean." Then, after five minutes of silence, he finally finds the words he's been looking for. He remembers when he used to be obsessed with death because of his father's suicide and tells Sasuke the words he wished someone had told him.

"There's more to life than death," he says. Sasuke wants to ignore what the man says. He wishes he could say he'd already been taught all of this but the truth was, he had no parents to teach him these things. This was the first time someone was telling him this.

Kakashi continues, "if you ever feel like hurting yourself again, come to me and we'll talk about it." Sasuke nods once and he isn't sure if he's lying to end the conversation or if he will genuinely go to Kakashi next time.

Kakashi makes dinner and they sit down, quietly eating it. To some, their relationship may seem awkward but, really, they share each other's silence willingly and peacefully. It's a comfortable silence.

When dinner is done with, someone with a strong chakra knocks on the door.

Kyuubi.


	2. Proper Etiquette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyuubi has no etiquette and Sasuke has a panic attack.

Kyuubi enters the house without asking which understandably annoys Kakashi. "Didn't anyone tell you it's rude to enter someone's house without asking?" And now Kyuubi's pissed because no, no one ever taught him etiquette of any kind. No one would tell a monster what's improper and whatnot.

Kyuubi walks over to Sasuke and wraps his hands around his throat, pulling him in for a kiss. Again, Kakashi has to decide when to step in. If he steps in at the wrong time, he could lose the trust of both Sasuke and Kyuubi out of anger. (Not that Kyuubi particularly likes him.)

As Kyuubi chokes Sasuke during the kiss, Sasuke starts clawing at the hands on his throat, needing some air. Kakashi gets up. Even though they'll both be mad at him, he needs to step in. But just as Kakashi gets up, Kyuubi lets go of Sasuke's throat. 

Sasuke collapses to the ground, more put out than he thought he'd be. He gasps for breath, unhappily needing air to live. And somewhere in the back of his head, he wishes he was dead. "Kill me," he wants to beg Kyuubi. 

But for some reason, he doesn't want Kakashi to see him begging for death. Kyuubi senses Sasuke's hesitance and mistakes Sasuke's action - or lack thereof - for being in love with Kakashi. 

Kyuubi takes Sasuke's hand, lifts him up, and demands suddenly, "have sex with me." Sasuke hates himself so he says, "fine." And Sasuke screams at himself and Kyuubi in his head as Kyuubi undresses him in front of Kakashi. Sasuke doesn't want Kakashi to know he doesn't want this so he looks him in the eye while Kyuubi enters and tries to convince the man it feels good.

Sasuke absolutely loathes himself because after a while, it genuinely does feel good and he finds himself verbalizing it. Even worse, he finds himself screaming it. Sasuke was taught that it's rude to use someone else's couch for your own selfish needs and feels bad for having sex on Kakashi's couch.

Kyuubi, who was never taught etiquette doesn't understand Sasuke's guilty, shameful glances towards Kakashi and fucks him harder because Sasuke is supposed to be paying attention to him; not Kakashi.

Sasuke thinks his glances towards Kakashi are pointless, though, because Kakashi isn't looking at him and is instead reading his orange book but Kakashi sees Sasuke's guilty glances behind his book and doesn't blame his student. Instead, he blames the monster possessing his other beloved student's body.

When Kyuubi is done, he makes sure to get cum all over Kakashi's couch and then redresses himself. Kakashi gets up to tell Kyuubi to clean it up himself before Kyuubi collapses and Naruto wakes up. Sasuke quickly grabs his clothes and runs to the bathroom, hoping there'd be no misunderstanding that Kakashi and him were together.

When Sasuke finishes redressing, he goes to the living room and cleans up the cum. Naruto has confusion written all over his face but Sasuke doesn't tell him what happened. Instead, Sasuke sits with his knees on the ground and feels himself losing it.

Naruto walls over to him, concerned. But Sasuke wants Naruto to go away. He hates Naruto's stupid face. He wants to throw things at Naruto, to scream and cry, to punch Naruto until he goes away, and most of all, he wants to die. Naruto doesn't understand why Sasuke's so upset but he notices Sasuke gets even more upset when he moved closer.

Then, Naruto's angry. "Hey. What did I ever do to you, you bastard? Hey. Stop ignoring me." But Sasuke's close to having a panic attack and Naruto's only making it worse. Kakashi sees the panic attack coming and gently asks Naruto to come back later while he calms Sasuke down.

Naruto leaves only slightly angry. He's more concerned for Sasuke than anything else. He wants to take Sasuke into his arms and he wants to protect him from the pain he's experiencing.

Kakashi tries to calm Sasuke down but he's getting worse. He's heading into a panic attack and Kakashi's not sure what to do for Sasuke when he has a panic. 

Sasuke is upset when he sees his vision get blurry and his face getting wet. Sasuke is even more upset when memories of the past resurface and he feels like no one cares. He thinks of the massacre and how no one comforted him when it was over. He thinks of the things Orochimaru had done to him and how he had to deal with the suffering alone.

No one cares.

But Kakashi is there. 

He hears Kakashi's gentle, careful voice. "Sasuke. It's okay. I'm here right now. You're safe." And Sasuke isn't sure whether to listen to him or not because even though Kakashi has never directly hurt him, he's let Kyuubi hurt him before.

Was Kakashi someone he should trust or someone he should stay away from? Sasuke decides to trust Kakashi just this once. He lets Kakashi convince him he's safe and he lets Kakashi convince him he cares. He lets Kakashi help him up and onto the love seat that was untouched.

And even though Sasuke still feels like no one cares, at least he doesn't feel alone. 

And, there on the love seat, he falls asleep.


	3. Confusion

Sasuke wakes up and becomes annoyed with himself when he realizes he fell asleep on a love seat. His father had always told him it's rude to sleep on the couch and although the love seat isn't a couch, it's pretty damn close.

It's dark outside so Sasuke checks the clock. It's 4:48 A.M. He tries to go back to sleep. After half an hour of laying there, he gives up on sleep and starts to reread one of Kakashi's books. Before he knows it, it's light outside and Kakashi is awake. 

"How did you sleep?" Kakashi asks and Sasuke doesn't know how to feel about the concern in his voice. He's not used to such kindness; being a rogue ninja was a hard knock life. So, he settles with a "hn." Kakashi understands what Sasuke means and smiles at him. 

"What would you like for breakfast?" Sasuke "hn"s again. He doesn't have an opinion. "Well, guess I'll be making ramen then." Sasuke glares harshly at Kakashi and Kakashi chuckles. "Just kidding." 

The morning passed by a little too quickly and Sasuke finds himself on edge. He can't help but be nervous for Kyuubi's return. At 1, Naruto invites Sasuke out to lunch. Sasuke thinks it'll be both a waste of time and a disaster. Naruto doesn't get why.

Sasuke goes anyway because even though he'll never admit it, he's lonely. 

They eat at a barbeque where Sakura and Ino fight over who gets to sit next to Sasuke. Naruto, who wasn't paying attention to their squabbling, sits next to Sasuke which pisses the two girls off. "Naruto!" Sakura reprimands. "I was going to sit next to Sasuke." 

Naruto is confused and apologizes. Still, he doesn't move. Sakura and Ino sit across from Sasuke. Shikamaru is sitting on the other side of Sasuke and eats slowly, hoping Ino and Sakura won't be upset with him because dealing with that would be a drag.

Sasuke begs to a God he doesn't believe in to please make Naruto keep control while they're at the restaurant. Dealing with everyone knowing how Kyuubi treats him would be bad for many reasons, one of the bigger reasons being he doesn't want to look weak.

Luckily, Kyuubi doesn't feel like coming out today and so Sasuke is left alone, although he is admittedly on edge the entire duration of the barbeque. Shikamaru is watching Sasuke carefully, worried that he will attack suddenly after being so mentally unstable.

But Shikamaru surprisingly finds that Sasuke is fearful himself. It doesn't take long for Shikamaru to find out who Sasuke's scared of because when Naruto reaches over Sasuke to grab some meat, Sasuke flinches from his touch.

But why would Sasuke be scared of Naruto? They were supposed to be best friends. The only reason he can come up with is that the final battle between Sasuke and Naruto was damaging. Losing his arm must've been traumatic so maybe he's scared of Naruto. But he'll heal. Trauma gets better with time.

But something is telling Shikamaru that that's not the case. Something is telling him that he made up that explanation to ease his own mind. Shikamaru makes a self note to watch Sasuke and Naruto.

When everyone is done eating, Sasuke tries to head to Kakashi's house but Naruto stops him. "Hey," he says in a serious voice. "Are you okay?" And Sasuke wants to yell at Naruto because no, he isn't okay. Not with Kyuubi possessing his best friend.

So, instead of yelling, he does the opposite and ignores Naruto completely. Unfortunately, this only makes Naruto push for answers even more. "What's wrong? You can tell me; I'm your best friend." And Sasuke thinks of how low his standards are because his tormentor is his very own best friend.

When Sasuke continues ignoring him, Naruto starts to feel sadness. And then anger. And then full-on triggered. And everything turns black and he's sleeping. 

Sasuke catches Naruto when he suddenly passes out and Sasuke is starting to see a pattern for when Kyuubi shows up. He notices that whenever Naruto feels strong negative emotions, he turns into Kyuubi as a way to protect himself.

Sasuke sets Naruto on the ground and tries to escape before Kyuubi wakes up. He's successful in doing so and goes to his new home. Sasuke steps inside the quiet house and isn't surprised to be alone. After all, Kakashi is the Hokage and so he is busy.

When Sasuke hears a harsh knock on the door, he feels like the most stupid person on Earth. Of course Kyuubi would find him at Kakashi's house. Sasuke doesn't go anywhere else. He should've gone somewhere Naruto wouldn't find him.

And so he takes his punishment for being stupid and lets Kyuubi burst through the door. Kyuubi has a smirk on his face and Sasuke wonders what torture he has in store for him today. Sasuke expects Kyuubi to want to have sex with him but Kyuubi shows no interest in his body for now.

Instead, Kyuubi walks over to Sasuke, sits next to him, and puts his mouth to his ear. "I'm the only one who will ever love you and I am the only one you will ever love." Sasuke doesn't know what to say to that. After all, it's true. 

As much as he claims to hate Kyuubi, he actually loves him. He himself doesn't why he loves Kyuubi but he does. And then, Kyuubi is gentle. He touches Sasuke as if he's fragile and hugs Sasuke lovingly. And Kyuubi admits, "you're the only one I'll ever love, too."

Sasuke, still unsure what to say, stays quiet. Kyuubi pulls Sasuke in tighter and holds him. Sasuke feels Kyuubi's gentleness and lets Kyuubi handle him. Just this once, he tells himself. Just this once.

They stay like that until Kakashi comes home. Sasuke doesn't want Kakashi to see him accepting Kyuubi's love because the man will think he's been manipulated into loving Kyuubi. Sasuke tries to pulls away from Kyuubi's hold which unexpectedly angers him. 

Sasuke thought Kyuubi would be all loving today but Kyuubi's hands keep their hold on Sasuke, bruising him. This makes Sasuke panic and he tries to pull away even harder but consequently, Kyuubi grabs onto him tighter. When Kakashi opens the door, Kyuubi stops immediately and angrily pushes past Kakashi to leave the house.

And Sasuke doesn't know whether he loves Kyuubi or if he hates him.


End file.
